While my truest love may be flogging a dead horse—particularly in the metaphorical sense, even more so when it involves taking pot-shots at the elderly—I am doing my damnedest to refrain for the sake of Grandparents. They’re a class act and they deserve all the respect and attentiveness of an older family member who’s hard of hearing and thinks your tattoos are whorish—ha cha! Oh, that made me feel hollow inside. Luckily, Grandparent’s music is very unlike my hollow, shambling existence—listening to it feels like driving through the desert in cheap sunglasses while your ass-sweat makes your skin stick to the seat. If you’re all as sickened on the cold, damp (but slowly fleeting!) Portland winter as I am, you’ll know what a hearty compliment that is.
Grandparents are playing at a collective art show called Fools, this Friday, April 1st, at the Baboo Grove Salon’s Gallery. They’ll be letting loose their sweet, solid, psychedelic grooves around 11 PM, but do yourself a favor and wrap the toilet seat in plastic before 8 PM, when the gallery opens, so you can get there early and get cultured. There is more to life than Korean bootlegged television, you inebriants! Besides, Early Bird is playing, yes, you guessed it, before ol’ Grandparents, so fill your pockets with Werther’s Originals (stop me!), hop in your Chrystler Town and Country (forgive me!) and shuffle on down this April Fools for good times and good tunes. – Jenn Fritschy