Words by Jason Lee. Video directed by Sofia Zarzuela.
People often ask us: What’s the office culture like at the Deli?…
…and then they go on to say: Sure, we read the meandering reviews of hot, new music by hot, new artists from New York City and its environs with 20 digressions and 100 hyperlinks per writeup which we tolerate cuz there’s usually at least one insight per published piece amidst the other meanderings and more importantly the music that gets covered is impeccable quality-wise that we likely wouldn’t even know about otherwise (nevermind the highly active IG feed and the daily concerts calendars on IG stories, etc.) but really what we most wanna know is what is the Deli actually like BEHIND THE SCENES…
…cuz we’re well aware that over the past year you’ve added a new musical correspondent named Willa Rudolph who much like a willow tree, and much like the willow tree’s namesake character on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, radiates a certain litheness and grace in her writing—not to mention eliciting great interviews from local artists—that serves as welcome yin to that other guy’s yang which gives us some degree of hope for the future of this august publication, and whose addition to the Deli staff we’re guessing has made things markedly more interesting BEHIND THE SCENES…
..which isn’t to say that they weren’t before cuz we’re heard the longstanding rumors of the Illuminati’s BEHIND THE SCENES involvement at the Deli, which would help explain all the hangers-on and unofficial “friends of the Deli” who always seem to be lurking about despite the slashed budget and draconian stuff cuts, including a small army of photographers, ghost writers, weed dealers etc. who it’s whispered spend their days and nights getting up to no good at the Deli’s makeshift home office HQ…
…where we’ve heard that BEHIND THE SCENES they’re prone to throwing wildly decadent and let’s face it outright unhinged parties pretty much every night of the week on par with other highly unprofessional yet famed publications that (in)famously represented real-deal rock ’n’ roll debauchery back in their day like Rolling Stone in the ‘60s, Creem in the ‘70s, Spin in the ‘80s and ‘90s, and Modern Drummer in the aughts and aught-not-to-have’s…
…and in response all we can say is, well, out of an excess of modesty and propriety, it’s true we’ve managed to hold our cards pretty close to the vest for nearly 20 years cuz frankly the Deli woulda been ruined if word got out about (to take one example) that wild party we threw back in 2007 at our old Williamsburg HQ where Grizzly Bear performed obscene acts with a Red Snapper purchased from an *actual* deli and fishmonger down the street not to mention it woulda meant the immediate end of their musical career once those grizzly details surfaced…
…but thankfully that’s all in the distant past now and even more thankfully we’re not here to discuss my yang but rather Willa’s yin cuz today Willa’s band November Girl bestowed unto the world a new single and a new music video to match—directed by fellow musical musical journeywoman and unofficial friend-of-the-Deli Sofia Zarzuela (photo spread coming soon of the Deli-co-produced bill she played on couple or few weeks ago in partnership with House of Feeling’s Our Lady of Sorrow) with none other than Willa’s sister Layla Blue Rudolph serving as director of photography no less—for a song called “Spiders” [editor’s note: spiders love willow trees and the boggy environments in which they thrive]…
…a video which depicts rather graphically—in scenes that must’ve been shot by a hidden secret camera, cuz we didn’t know a damn thing about this video’s contents or even its existence ’til this morning—what an average night looks like at the Deli’s home-office-by-day and let’s just say it’s not pretty or rather it’s full of pretty people or rather goddamn if it ain’t pretty great even tho’ we’re not quite sure what the repercussions may be ultimately of its public release but hey if we’re cancelled so be it tho’ really how can you “cancel” a publication that can’t be subscribed anyway to since it wen’t out of print circa 2017 or ’18 so we got ya there…
…but first let’s get one important matter out of the way cuz we know some of you are out there thinking are you kidding me!?! Am I about to read a writeup of a band fronted by Deli writer written by the Deli’s one other current writer and isn’t that a form of nepotism? to which we reply DAMN STRAIGHT IT’S NEPOTISM cuz for one thing DELI FAM IS IN THE HIZZY and we’re not ashamed to rep our family but bigger picture-wise ya gotta ask yourself where would rock journalism (to wit: Spin‘s founder Bob Guccione, Jr. is the son of Penthouse‘s founder Bob Guccione) be without nepotism or even rock ’n’ roll itself…
…cuz what if Alan Freed had not taken so-called payola from all those scrappy independent labels with business associates at those labels kicking back the occasional bogus co-songwriting credit but hey it got Alan to play songs on the radio everyone else was scared to play so in other words “no nepotism, no rock ’n’ roll” and I’d be sitting here writing about the newest cool calypso single instead [editors note: nothing against calypso which we’re quite fond of] and what’s more even a rock critic as revered as Lester Bangs wrote about the record that he himself recorded…
…so there’s all of that, plus do you really think we woulda brought Willa on as a writer if the band she fronted sucked eggs with the answer being “no, of course not, in fact we ‘hired’ Willa precisely because she’s in a good band that we’d already written about before she joined the Deli and even more so due to her being an accomplished songwriter and music writer” so that’s that as far as we’re concerned but just to be non-partial we’re gonna quote from another publication, namely withguitars.com and yes that’s really the name of a music blog, who a few days gave readers a sneak peak of “Spiders” (which Willa didn’t even offer to the Deli, just as a demonstration of her integrity) writing that…
…The new single from November Girl, produced by Grant Lepping (Comet’s Two-Winged), “Spiders” pumps and jumps through the bloodstream, with lead singer Willa Rudolph’s vocals soft and steady throughout. Lush with an extremely catchy and gritty guitar riff, and the bass and drums driving the track along with force, the revivalist sound of 90’s and 2000’s metal shining through. But the vocals are performed in a feminine, talky drone. The drums, guitar, and bass create a washy purgatory that the listener can burrow into…
…and really who doesn’t love “burrowing into a washy purgatory” which sounds like something that spiders would do as well but anyway you can easily judge the song for yourself by, um, listening to it, so maybe go do that and we’ll just quote one other passage from the with guitars piece where Willa herself is quoted as saying that “‘Spiders’ is about the feeling of having said too much, done too much—you feel like everyone’s staring at you. You’re the ‘fantasy pony at the school’. You wonder how some people seem to be so calm, cool, and collected, while you simply can’t seem to keep your mouth shut or your sh*t together!” and yes we feel that pretty much daily or at least every time we write a new column but truth be told we’re a little more fixated on the music video than the song at the moment…
…and that it was secretly recorded at our home offices which in the opening minute alone treats viewers to a Caligula-esque montage of young people partying including close-ups of butts covered only by lacy undergarments as well as upper torsos covered only in duct tape, PRR shotgunning, actual shot taking, dozens and dozens of red cups covering a hapless rec room table, girl-on-girl face slapping, boy-on-boy hair mussing, noogie giving, boobie squeezing, a stiletto heel ground into a young man’s groin, and November Girl hanging out collectively in the shower with the bathroom door locked for whatever nefarious reason or maybe just cuz there’s a guy outside waiting to take a shower fully clothed with beer and ciggie in hand plus you never know who’s carrying a knife…
…and just to be clear we’re not endorsing any of these multiple acts of degeneracy (while not denying they took place either as our lawyers have advised) but let’s be clear we must have been taking a nap on the mattress that we drag up onto the roof sometimes (the only please to find any peace and quiet, except for when the party gets moved up to the roof) and while we’re not quite sure whether to feel sheepish or low-key proud that the Deli in any way helped to perpetuate such scenes of rock ’n’ roll animalism but either way, dear reader, now ya know what it’s really like BEHIND THE SCENES at Deli HQ…
…and even if it sounds like self-defensive spin (btw the word “spider” is from the Olde English spinnan, meaning “to spin” or as Gwen Stafani once memorably put it, “the web you’re spinning / you’ve got me for your prey”) there’s something to be said for treating one’s existence, and the living of life itself, as a form of art it it’s own right (a longtime NYC tradition) no matter how messily at times and even if there’s some hint of remorse at a later point due to one’s lack of modesty or restraint, so long as no one feels violated or gets hurt (crucially on both points!) besides possibly yourself it’s usually worth it in the end…
…so please allow us to reverse ourselves and endorse degeneracy and for goodness’ sake go make out in the shower with your boyfriend or whatever cuz we only get one go-round on this big blue marble and it’s all part of the circle of life* innit so really there’s no need to belabor the point any further or as Willa puts it on the opening lyrics to November Girl’s ode to too muchness: “when I talk about it / spiders come out”…
* “The existence of spiders is vital to the Earth. Spiders eat many types of harmful insects, helping to keep gardens and crops free of pests. Not only do they help pollinate plants, they also help recycle dead animals and plants back into the soil. Spiders are also a food source for many small mammals, birds and fish.”
Be sure to catch Willa and November Girl, alongside Sofia Zarzuela and Gun, at the GREAT AMERICAN MUDWRESTLING SHOW II at Trans-Pecos tomorrow, Saturday 6/29
