Words by Jason Lee. Photos by Jenny Alice Watts (cover photo, body of article) and Jason Lee (final section)
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We all have holes waiting to filled. Lots of holes waiting for lots of filling. Figuratively speaking.
Lots of big, yawning, yearning, gaping, throbbing holes—holes of a quantity and quality seldom seen outside David Cronenberg retrospectives—just waiting to be filled. Figuratively speaking. We’re talking psychological holes, spiritual holes, material holes, sociopolitical holes. Holes, holes, holes.
Cuz sure we’d like to think we’re defined by the things we do. The experiences we’ve had. The personality traits we possess. But what about lacks and absences. Failures and regrets. Fantasies and repressed longings. All those things we wanted to do but haven’t accomplished.
Cuz this is where most of our energies go innit? Into relieving unfulfilled desires. Making up for perceived failures. Meanwhilie, the holes only seem to multiply. Fill one hole and three more pop up. We’re relentlessly reminded by mass media and social media of all the many ways we’re lacking and what we lack. Same goes for capitalism, politicians, the Internet, the Patriarchy. We’ve all got baggage. And that baggage is empty.
It’s true for our literal holes too. We stuff our pie holes not only cuz the calories sustain us, but also cuz pie and other foodstuffs assuage a deeper ache. Sex too. Far from merely pleasuring orifices we expect sex to plug all sorts of other emotional holes. Enter fetishes and phobias, kinks and taboos. As Chairman Mao once said: let a thousand paraphilias bloom.
It’s not like we don’t realize we’re wholly subservient to holes either. It’s part of the public discourse. Take the church service I attended visiting my Father down in Nashville recently. The title of the sermon that week was “Desperate for Jesus” with the pastor asserting, “You have a God-sized hole in your life.” A hole that’ll only be filled when Christ comes again, and again, and again (sorry).
Then some kid tries to shoot a hole in the president-to-be (sorry) which seems a bit redundant when you think about it seeing as the man’s already a big black hole of insecurities, inadequacies, and inferiority complexes once described by former Mexican president Vicente Fox as “like a piñata…empty inside” so it’s fitting the bullet passed right through him. Yet he masquerades as a masculine authority figure and hole-filler (MAGA = make America gape again) in a bid to mask his daddy issues. Or so some would say.
Surely there must be a better way to cope with our collective holes. As usual, we’d like to suggest music cuz music not only fills up your ear holes with good vibrations but it’s proven to be one of the best and least costly means for plugging the holes in your wounded souls too. Even if only momentarily.
The band MZZTR clearly realize all of this. A Brooklyn-based metal band, they’ve even got a song called “Fill My Holes” with lyrics as single-mindedly obsessive re: hole-filling as real life tends to be…
Fill me,
Fill me up,
Fill me up, fill me up
Fill me up, inside
Yeah, fill me
Fill me up inside
Fill me up inside
Fill me up inside
Fill me up inside
Fill my…fill my holes!
Fill my…fill my holes!
…with the latter phrase sung over an insistent three-note melodic hook teasing the listener with anticipation (“fill my…fill my…”) before eventual cadential resolution (“holes!”) but which doesn’t stay resolved for long soon starting all over again in a fitting metaphor for holes that just won’t stay filled. And what better genre than heavy metal to put across such a message…
…with metal being, let’s face it, a genre that celebrates unreconstructed desire more than any other from the most elevated to the most degraded (admittedly leaning more to the latter) with human beings understood to be at their core nothing more than gaping holes of festering need and want, endlessly craving not only physical fulfillment (sex drugs & yadda yadda yadda) but just as much lusting for the rush brought about by exercising power and aggression, violence and domination, while off finding equal pleasure in abjection and humiliation, all inherent in metal’s well-known penchant for Tolkein-esque questing and/or the quasi-religious rites and rituals of primitive man so in other words your basic Old Testament shiz…
An empty hole to fill
a grave for me
the soil spills all over
cram it back in me!
…presented in a manner that hardly discriminates or differentiates between manifold manifestations of desire across a broad spectrum of rainbow-diverse needs and wants, sought out and sometimes satiated in metal’s garden of demented delights, so no wonder Mr. MZZTR stated outright in our interview (see below!) that heavy metal is inherently queer and for all those who take the genre’s much ballyhooed machismo and occasional regrettable homophobia at face value, well, maybe you’ve never heard the saying “thou doth protest too much” nor given much thought to how role-playing plays a major role in hole-filling…
…with MZZTR filling the holes of a whole spectrum of metalhead wants and needs what with their doom metal and death metal leanings with no shortage of slow-motion menacing riffs, fiery fretwork, and Cookie Monster-style growling vocals (talk about a bottomless pit!) whilst also touching on alt-metal, grunge, and classic nü-metal tropes as summed up by their own description of the band as “being like if the Melvins. Korn, and System of a Down had a gay baby”…
…which granted you can’t hear their music yet (not on record anyway, but they play live shows locally on the regular) cuz MZZTR are the types to make you beg for that and other holes to be filled and how did we fist learn of this band of miscreants you may ask (thanks for asking!) well it was thanks to a random outing a year or two ago (who can remember!) driven by a deep sense of lack/absence after being stuck at home all day slaving away at a hot computer database and well into the evening too finishing up a Deli review and badly needing to blow off some steam…
…and what better place to do so than at the legendary metal bar Lucky 13 where you can get your senses wiped clean with fermented liquids and a sick mix of metal classics and deep cuts played over the sound system pulverizing your ear holes as a bevy of pole dancers with remarkable upper-body strength writhe in mid-air that is when they aren’t crawling across the bar requesting tips and in the midst of this Hieronymus Boschian scene we struck up a conversation with the person perched on the barstool to our left and thus became acquainted with the lead singer of MZZTR before the band was a fully fleshed-out reality…
…but then we’re not at liberty to divulge the identity of MZZTR’s mastermind who in live performance obscures their features behind a series of “uncanny valley” masks with a blank countenance (face = hole) as do the other band members but not for their entire set, a burly crew of rock ’n’ rollers led by muscle-bound guitarist Daddy Adam whose ability to pull off stagewear like hot-pink mesh t-shirts only enhances his manliness, which alongside the electronically modulated vocals make it all but impossible to discern an either-or binary gender identity tho’ the mask is no doubt coded as masculine with MZZTR self-presenting as a severe patriarchal figure with a penchant for humiliating audience members tho’ all in good fun…
…where during the most ritualistic portions of their live shows they request supplicants from the audience (even if the nature of the supplication isn’t revealed ’til after volunteering!) to do things like squat down on all fours so that MZZTR may sit upon the audience member for the duration of an entire song; or like submitting to a good hard, open-handed slap (your reporter being among this group) or most grotesquely to take a gulp from a dog food bowl filled with liquor and backwash into which, moments earlier, audience members poured portions of their partially consumed drinks…
…with this dominant stance being implied right there in the band’s name with “Mister” being a word derived from “Master” (a man having control or authority over a place, a teacher or tutor) with the ultimate figure of masculine authority and mastery being, of course, the Father, or more broadly, the patriarchy, the provider and protector who pulls the levers of power, offering a succession of hole-filling rewards and punishments all the while posing the rhetorical question, “who’s your Daddy?”
…and so it was no-brainer that the Deli would team up with MZZTR to co-produce a show conceived by the lead “Mister” of MZZTR that was dubbed “A Very Filthy Father’s Day,” held on the holiday in question, cuz we find it’s important to remind people how this particular holiday outghta be celebrated–not with gag-reflex testing Hallmark greeting cards w/saccharine sentiments at their center that’ll only make Dear Ol’ Dad wanna beat you upside the cabeza–but rather with something he can use (don’t ask how, tho’) like a debauched parade of necktie-wearing punk rock and heavy metal bands and a bit of burlesque too with an emphasis on rough trade, Sub/Dom dynamics, and overall abjection–all guaranteed to fill a daddy’s hole with delight…
…with an opening benediction delivered by besuited multi-media artist and motivational speaker Matthew Silver that dripped with both menace and sympathy in equal measure (bad daddies love it when you say “fuck you, Dad!” which only reinforces their dominant position) and emcee duties provided by the heavily-fêted, rightfully award-winning Drag King ShowPonii whose wit and good cheer served as an ideal counterpoint to some of the more proudly depraved displays on stage over the course of the evening…
..leading straight into Klovis Gaynor & the Urinal Cakes kicking off the show proper with a proper display of hole-filling both literal (“Good Morning Dick”) and spiritual (“Peace Be With Every Little Faggot”) and if you doubt it just read the writeup we posted about them a little while back followed by the Bum Babies who filled the holes of all the punk-lovin’ daddies in the audience- cuz truly these Barbies got a secret with lead screamer G-Spot showing appropriate deference to the fathers in the room by (not be outdone by Klovis!) crawling across the floor and wielding a necktie like a noose as the band eviscerated the earholes of all in attendance to their immense pleasure…
…then followed by the hirsute hard-rockin’ daddies of Butthole University who put on a masterclass in white, middle-aged CIS male identity politics in championing totems of this particular minority group such as Michael J. Fox in ditties about daddy-based sartorial tastes (“Old Navy”) for when Banana Republic and The Gap are a little too edgy whilst paying tribute to muscle cars, cops, lawyers, and “making money and getting laid” as the only metrics of hole-filling success which was then followed by a jaw-and-trou-dropping burlesque routine from Pink Velvet Witch who revealed more than just her origin story and if you thought MZZTR teases the gap between masculin/feminin then apparently you haven’t seen PVW yet so get your ass out to Coney Island stat…
…then followed by MZZTR but hey we already told you enough about them–except we forgot to mention they’re only band we know featuring a bass-keytarist–with the night culminating appropriately with I’m Going To Marry Your Dad which was the perfect parting gift for all the fathers in attendance attracted to mimes who make Dr. Demento-worthy “dad rock” á la Professor Gizmo with good fatherly advice imparted about the meritocracy and being a “daddy” in general (“friendship isn’t something you can feel or see / so what can your friend do for me!”) and many other subject but the less said about “Hopscotch Butterscotch” the better perhaps…
Video stills by @podglorious
…and at last we oughta note how appropriate it was that A Filthy Father’s Day took place at Purgatory i.e., the gaping hole between Heaven & Hell, but please don’t stop reading now cuz there’s a great interview with the lead Mister of MZZTR right after the jump below not to mention a bunch more great photos–namely a photoset by Jason Lee (not the same one as the author tho!) aka The Silent Brotographer following the interview…
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MZZTR origin story:
MZZTR (pronounced mis•ter) was murdered late one night by satanic panic conspirators. They were then revived by a handsome, heavy metal stranger named Daddy Adam, which gave them superhuman metal-like abilities, allowing them to become MZZTR and reign alt metal-punk-rock-prog onto the world.
MZZTR was first conceived six years ago but finally got to where it is now, when I started working with my main collaborator, friend and guitarist Daddy Adam Ames [on his IG page Adam self-describes as an artist, teacher, musician, powerlifter, lover of cats and the NY Rangers, horror geek, husband, and Dad]. MZZTR survived the pandemic and some toxic former bandmates who didn’t understand what the message of the band was.
I’ve known Adam for about two years but we’re still newish with performing as MZZTR. We’ve been playing for less than a year and have played about ten shows Each one is more epic and a cohesive vision. It’s been a lot of fun. in terms of some of our influences, I describe MZZTR as being as if the Melvins, Ministry, and Mr.Bungle had a weirdo bastard baby.
On the intersectionality of metal and queerness (and theatricality):
It makes sense because metal to me is inherently gay. It’s always been. There have been so many artists where I’m like, oh, this is so queer. From their outfits, songs to performances. Along these lines I’m always working to sound vocally gender-neutral in our songs.
And the theatricality behind metal has always been a thing. Shout out to Kiss, Alice Cooper, King Diamond again, Gwar and Ghost these days. The theatrical element has always been a through-line and a source of inspiration for me specifically, helped alongside by Adam. Daddy Adam really brings our songs to life melodically and otherwise, with his badass guitar playing and his hot daddy muscles. He plays bass as well, though not in this band and helps in the production process with myself.
We bring something new to our stage show every time we play, which is so much fun. And I hope to keep pushing it. At shows I want to punish everyone but in a very hot way, where everybody wants us but is also disgusted at the same time. Sometimes we’re lucky enough to have dancers perform with us, that is, when Tallie Medel is not off winning an Oscar for being in Everything Everywhere At Once, and model-artist-dancer-multi-hyphenate-queen Eleanore Pienta isn’t performing and showing her films at prestigious festivals. We’re so thankful to have them supporting us at some of the shows.
On the New York scene(s), disproving naysayers, and crossing artistic boundaries:
I’m all about making Mzztr campy and satiricaI. I hope to meet more people, more bands in New York and beyond, who have similar ideas. I’m loving the queer punk scene happening now in Brooklyn. We’re hoping to perform with more bands like that, but also more metal acts. We just performed with this speed metal band, Elefantkiller–it’s how our drummer Danny aka sh*tstain joined us, he also plays for them. That meant a lot to me as someone who’s been told, no, you can’t do this in this scene. This idea will never work.
I’m a trained artist working in multiple mediums. I’m fortunate to have my band, who are also artists working in other various mediums. So it’s really fun to collaborate. They’re really a big part of my overall vision of our band. It definitely applies to my experience in the arts too, producing and planning my work aggressively. Always asking, What’s next? What’s our goal here? So I hope to be able to have more opportunities to have a bigger stage show at some point.
On joining forces with Daddy Adam:
I was on this app, BandMix, it’s like a dating app for musicians looking for other musicians to collaborate with and to know in general. I was still new in the scene, so no one knew who I was. I saw Adam’s page. In the past he mostly played speed metal, thrash, grindcore, death metal. We started talking and at first he said, No way, I’m a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. After gaining more experience being in the first iteration of this band, I circled back to him six months later and sent him more recordings where I’d developed more as a songwriter and screamer. And he was like, oh, shit. So we met up and we’ve just become great collaborators and also great friends.
And now he’s wearing neon pink mesh shirts on stage, with his sparkle guitar (named sparkle motion) and all. Without him, I don’t think MZZTR would be MZZTR. The support is so meaningful, especially doing something that is theatrically heavy and outside his own experience. It brings us joy. With collaborators in general I always say, they must be nice and be able to collaborate without ego, must have a sense of humor, which is hard to find. It’s literally like dating. It’s so hard. I’ve been in a few different versions of this band so it’s exciting what’s happening now. We’ve got a set list of original songs except for one cover, “I Cum Blood” by Cannibal Corpse.
On Cannibal Corpse’s “I Come Blood”:
They’re so notorious with, you know, killing and raping women imagery. They’ve always set out to make the worst, most transgressive lyrics possible. The most gruesome. I felt like it’d be fun to turn it into camp where “I Cum Blood” out of my pussy and my clit. I gender-neutralized the pronouns as well. And then we break into Madonna mid-way through the song, where we throw in “Like A Virgin” because of the irony and it’s fun. I hope we can release it one day if Cannibal Corpse will let us.
On the unique, enigmatic yet powerful nature of MZZTR’s vocals:
I’m a total musical theater nerd. A trained vocalist, theater nerd, person who realized one day that they were a metalhead and started to study the art of scream. And here we are. In high school, I competed heavily in musical theater, sang in choir and did show choir. In high school I performed in Aida. Pippin. Sunday in the Park with George. Huge fan of Little Shop of Horrors. Rocky Horror, duh. Hedwig. Duh again. Like talk about camp. That’s the canvas.
But opposite to musical theater, I want to remain an anonymous presence in MZZTR. Because why not? But it also has to do with gender and sexuality. Why should I be sexualized on stage where you can just appreciate the music and the lyrics instead on their own merits? Also, I feel hot as hell being Mzztr.
But that’s me growling. That’s my voice growling and screaming. When I’m speaking to the audience, I use a modulator to pitch shift my voice down. When I first met our drummer, before he tried out, he was like, okay, well, where’s the lead singer? And I’m like, it’s me. I’m here!
On choosing and releasing their first single:
We’re planning on releasing at least one single in 2024. I’m trying to be strategic. I think we’ll probably release “Holes” first, but we’re not entirely sure. “Holes” is very punky, grungy, I’d say. And fun with the front hook. There’s another song we have called “Moon”, which is a prog metal song.
They’re weird songs, very theatrical too, but “weird’ in a way people seem to like. Somebody posted a video of us on YouTube saying, What is this song? So that means a lot to me, defying categorization. I’m not sure what will be released first, but I think we’re leaning towards ‘Holes” because it’s catchy and short. That or our doom song, “Paradise”.
On there being any other inspirations behind the formation of MZZTR, and the band’s future direction…
Ever since 2016, I would say, or even a little bit before that maybe, there were things that definitely sparked the anger within. Being bullied and being told no you can’t do this or it’s a stupid idea kind of fueled me. An ex telling me how hard it was to make a record, or to be in a band, in a very patronizing way.
I know it means a lot to the rest of the band too. Coming from this place of feeling a weird vulnerable-ness, coming from vulnerability and finally feeling confident, which is an interesting journey. So I’m going to keep pushing my weird shit, my weird ideas!
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PHOTOS OF FILTHY FATHER’S DAY (PURGATORY) BY JASON LEE:
