Words by Jason Lee
As routinely happens around this time of year it’s finally and fully inescapably hit us in the face that summer is fast waning and that before long we’ll be ruefully waving it good-bye from our nonexistent automobile’s rear view mirror but before that happens we’re determined to make one last big last splash by doing a figurative cannonball off the diving board like we’re the freakin’ Deal Sisters or something minus the husky Pall Mall voices and long hiatuses between albums…
…which is why we’re planning a beach outing and barbecue this coming Friday that’ll be mandatory for all Deli staff from senior leadership on down to all our unpaid, highly exploited interns cuz nothing says “future HR report” like seeing all your co-workers half-naked downing bellini after bellini like it’s freakin’ blue Kool-Aid just to keep from passing out from sunstroke but then passing out from Prosecco poisoning instead…
…only thing is we’re out of practice with party planning and also we’ve never really been down with “casual Fridays” even when work is relocated to the Rockaways cuz a well-dressed employee is a compliant employee we figure so it’s a good thing local funksters Every Flavor Weather Machine released a song earlier this summer (first in July, then in expanded form earlier this month) laying out step-by-step instructions for putting on a stylish beachside soirée including eating a heathy breakfast beforehand (speaking from experience: we’ve scarfed down many an everything bagel with bacon, egg, and cheese on a beach-bound subway train!) that’s titled “Blazers on the Beach” which is a song not even freakin’ Duran Duran was brave enough to write even back when it woulda been kind of a no brainer for them…
…which is just as well cuz Every Flavor knocks it out of the park with a song that opens on an air-tight groove that’ll have you shakin’ your a$$ in no time with a bassline so phat it’s like something freakin‘ Bernie Edwards woulda made up after blazing one up intertwined with some ’80s style synth stabs á la freakin’ Dr. Fink and what’s more by the time the second chorus rolls around there’s baritone sax and auxiliary percussion and squelchy clavinet as the groove builds in disco-funkified intensity which is fitting seeing as a name like Every Flavor Weather Machine practically demands going big or going home cuz tasteful chamber pop this ain’t…
Up top I’m rockin’ formal wear
above my sun-kissed derrière
The ladies they all stare-ier
I say ‘the more the merr-ier’
…and part of “going big” for EFWM is inventing new vocabulary in Dr. Seussian fashion based on the demands of the rhyme scheme nevermind having the gall to rhyme “bellini” with “bikini” which surprisingly hasn’t been done before nor rhyming “Frasier Crane” with “dry cleaning” (pronounced “clee-NANG”) with frontman Ben Crane going on to observe how there’s no need to get upset in case the blazer in question gets wet given that it’s made of seersucker, motherf***er! which are again two words we hadn’t heard rhymed before and can only wonder why…
…and just in case you think Every Flavor is yanking your chain and hesitate to wear formalwear to a locale that’s hot, wet, and sandy just remember how highly impractical fashions were once the norm especially in the indie sleaze salad days when dressing like freakin’ Don’s Johnson came into vogue again and here at Deli HQ we witnessed it all firsthand cuz in case ya don’t know we’re about to turn 20 this December (!) and back when we used to hang with Interpol at Coney on the regular playing Shoot the Freak for hours on end they were always dressed to the nines even when shooting paintball guns (!) and ditto The Strokes oozing their usual rakish cool on visits to Fire Island alongside Scissor Sisters and heck even Sky Ferreira was known to wear a blazer and not much else on Sandy Hook’s clothing optional beaches cuz apparently not *everything* is embarrassing…
…and finally as if “Blazer on the Beach” isn’t already a near perfect “sunshine pop” song the band goes and throws a gearshift modulation in near the end thus checking off the final box for a certified beach blanket pop banger and while there’s a handful of other songs in contention we’re at the very least nominating “Blazer on the Beach” for Song of the Summer and if you’re feelin’ EFWM’s vibe you should go and listen to the expanded version of their 2023 Depression Disco LP as well which dropped a few months ago on which they offer to take you on a date to Cheesecake Factory and unveil a groovy new cover of “Spooky” putting their own stamp on the much-covered classic…
OFFICIAL BAND BIO: Every Flavor Weather Machine is a nine-piece Brooklyn party band bringing a carnival of disco, funk, r&b and indie rock. Formed in Bushwick in 2013, the group has grown from a piano-led folk-funk experiment into a punchy disco powerhouse.
“BLAZERS ON THE BEACH”
Written and Performed by Every Flavor Weather Machine
Recorded at The Creamery in Greenpoint, New York
Produced by Quinn McCarthy and Every Flavor Weather Machine
Engineered and mixed by Quinn McCarthy
Mastered by Andrew Maury
Art by Dale Romero
Released July 2024